Two ways to fix the world:

I've come to the conclusion numerous times in my life that there are much simpler ways to solve things than everyone seems to think. The world doesn't have to be as complicated as it is, and I've thought of the two key ways to simplify and correct the idiotic way humans have of relating with each other. Because, lets face it, people suck at interacting with each other.

First of all, one of the things people always complain about is war. Stupid conflict that destroys millions of lives, miles upon miles of land, and usually doesn't actually solve much.

I have a better idea.

This is the stuff worlds should be made of.

If every conflict, from wars to who gets the last soda, were solved this way, the world would be a much better place.

France and Germany are fighting over Luxembourg? No problem. Each of you, pick a representative. Best two out of three. Gentleman, I wish you luck.

I fully intend to solve the majority of my children's bickering in this fashion.

That, or one on one battles. Last man standing gets the last slice of cake! Which I'll then munch on while watching my adorable children try to kill each other.

Speaking of which, I'm starving. (Speaking of cake, not my unborn spawn.)

And starvation is not a topic I intend to cover, although according to Eric (one of my professors this last semester), there's enough food in the world to feed everyone, we're just all idiots and decide politics is a good reason to let people starve. I haven't fixed that one yet.

Problem number two: relations between the sexes.

The main problem I see here is that guys are idiots and girls are complete freaking psychos.

I feel I'm more than qualified to make this assessment, by the way, because of my position as an outsider, female and close friend to several males. My experience with both of them gives me a nice, faux-objective standpoint to shout at everyone from.

My clever solution?

I think everyone in the world, male or female, should experience the feeling of getting kicked hard in the testicles, crippling menstrual cramps, birth, and kidney stones. Probably in separate chunks so that they can compare them all.

(Aren't you all glad I didn't put a picture here for you? XD)

I think sharing those experiences would create a revolutionary new sympathy between the two species (Yes, "species." Let's be honest here.). I can't count the number of times I've heard guys or girls (though this was largely in high school) complaining that one or the other are wusses and such because they don't know what ____ feels like.

Well, girls/guys, I bet you wouldn't be so flippant about how whiny they are if you experienced that particular pain.

And people talk about it like it's some kind of competition. Which it might be, if there were some prize other than sexism. Or if we were talking about individuals. But I'm not, so it isn't.

I haven't done any research, but I'm fairly sure pain is a pretty subjective thing. Pain tolerance is kind of hard to compare without just torturing people, which could be entertaining, but I'm also fairly sure that would be considered unethical. People throw tantrums about testing drugs and cosmetics on animals, despite the idiocy of that particular fury, so I somehow doubt they'd support studies that involved causing humans pain. Or if they didn't mind, they're even more retarded, and someone ought to go slap their priorities in the stupid face. But that's a rant for a different day.

I've wandered from my point.

Shared pain, shared experience, brings people together. You can interact with someone on a whole new level of understanding and sympathy when you've got some common experience. That's part of why people find common ground to be so important in relationships of any kind. There's nothing wrong with having some difference; life is a different experience for everyone, but in order to make an other less than alien, you have to find something shared, otherwise you can't establish a basis for real interaction. And stress, be that pain, pressure, or fear, has a way of defining relationships. It drives people together, or it forces them apart, but if they're all in one boat, I think it would result in forging new alliances.

So someone needs to figure out a way to yank on everyone's nervous systems to replicate all kind of horrible sensations!

I bet that'd be an incredibly useful tool in interrogations too...To gather intelligence on the next world-changing Rock, Paper, Scissors match.

I'll try to think of more way to fix the world later. Other than the obvious one of killing all the stupid people and preventing certain humans from breeding, because for some reason genocide doesn't often go over well with the populace unless you've got a very charismatic and frightening leader to orchestrate its start.

I never did finish reading Mien Kampf...