Friday, October 19, 2012

Existential Questing: Screw linear questlines.

Do you feel smothered audience? I feel kind of absurd writing three blogs in next to no time. Especially since I posted just last night, but Becca and I were talking this morning, so I thought I'd share some of this.

So I'm going to do something I don't usually do: talk about video games.

So Skyrim.

It ate my life and owns my soul.

Becca and I were talking about life, and how she's started viewing everything not necessarily as good or bad, but as an experience, because a lot of times, she thought things had to go from point A to point B, like in a basic, RPG type videogame.

Someone else has set out a path, and you're supposed to follow the linear storyline, do you necessary quests, fight your boss battles, pick up items, and reach your highest level and finish the game, but life isn't like that, boys and girls. Life is more like Skyrim (oh, how I wish...); you have a story arc, but it's entirely up to you how much you do. You can choose any perks you feel like and create basically any kind of class you want. It's like the best of every tabletop RPGs, where you have open class creation and pretty open world creation.

But life is like that. I've talked about it before. It's not necessarily about getting to the end point. There's no GO to pass, and if you do, it's kind of iffy whether or not anyone is going to hand you $200 for absolutely nothing, usually, as in the case of LIFE, you have to pay for everything.

To quote the good Shepard Book, "How you get there is the worthier part." It's a concept that I've talked about several times with Becca and Rosalinde. There's not actually a magical end point. Your life satisfaction gauge is never going to max out, not even when you're in your forties, happily married with beautiful children, a steady lucrative job, and a dog, blah blah blah. (That sounds intolerable, by the way.)

So it doesn't make any sense to live as if that's true.

And that's not just us consoling ourselves for not doing anything with our lives yet.

There's not an outside standard to follow. There's no progress bar. No one is going to show you your life is  30% complete, and if you have a quest marker other than on your GPS, I suggest you seek medical attention.

And I'm starting to stray from my point, because theoretically I actually have a thread to follow, so I should shut up probably.

But my point here is that we should live mindfully. Pick up a few side quests, and don't be afraid to ignore some as well. Life is as much of an adventure as you make it. If you follow the paved, well-tended, high traffic highway, you'll be able to get exactly where you aim for, but if you wander off on side paths and get completely lost, you're likely to find all kinds of fun stuff, and more than a few rare items.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Decoration only

This'll have to be a quick post, theoretical readers, but I figured I'd throw it out into the ether before I forget again. It was a though that I had this morning, and then after my adventures this afternoon and a five hour shift at work, I'd nearly forgotten about it until I went to read a few other blogs. Apparently October is the time for a blog spew for everyone.

Anyway, I was helping clean this house this morning
(My mother talked to me about this last night while I was dungeon crawling, and there were like four Restless Draugers and a boss battle going on, so I was helpless to refuse. I barely had the attention to spare to acknowledge her presence.)
and I realized something I've actually known for a very long time without naming.

Don't ask me how that works. It just does.

I hate decorative things.

But wait, you hypothetically say, aren't you a self-proclaimed artist, and don't you always bitch about all your random stuffs??

Yes, that's true. But I'm not talking about art. I don't make art because it's pretty to put up on my walls. I get art because it's awesome, but YOU get art to display. But that's another one-sided discussion.

When I was a wee little'un, I always felt really uncomfortable in certain people's houses, and that continues to this day, and at some point (probably when discussing it with one of my many siblings), I came to the conclusion that it was because those houses, or rooms, felt fake. They looked like a magazine picture, as though they were on display for someone. It's something I've come to hate. I like places that feel lived in, that are clearly used on a regular basis.

If your kitchen is pristine, I mistrust you and it immediately.

My issue here is that it's a lie. You're beautiful house is a lie! It's contrived and insincere, and I hate that in any aspect. You can't trust someone who isn't real, and you can't respect someone whose worth clearly depends so heavily on what other people think.

When I clean, it's largely for me. That isn't to say that I don't clean when I have people over, but they've pretty much all seen my house nearly at its worst at one time or another.

I think what it comes down to is comfort and ownership. There's a balance to be maintained, and when something is fake, you totally crush that.

Along with that, I was gonna talk about my hatred for fake plants. They serve no purpose, add nothing of worth, and serve only to create tripping hazards and collect dust. I hate pointless things more often than not. if it serves no active purpose and adds virtually nothing aesthetically, don't buy it.

So yes. Fake, decorative, display-only things should go away.

Anyways, that's my doughy, disjointed thought for today.

I feel almost guilty that you, unfortunate readers, get the dregs of my cleverness and my least polished writing.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Faceless (A disjointed ramble on being a food-service drone)

Before my actual post, let me briefly offer some vague, half-sincere apology about not writing in so long. I keep thinking I should post something, but then I lose motivation, or don't have time, or don't have anything to say worth posting, dubious though that distinction clearly is with me.

But on to this blog!

So today at this meeting I had for work, we got informed that there are some changes to the uniform; we now have to wear aprons, tuck our shirts in, wear a plain, solid colored belt, and if we wear black jeans, they have to be solid colored, with no fading or wearing anywhere. Our area rep commented to my manager during his last inspection that we were looking a little "sloppy" right after commending us on almost everything else. This was because we are allowed to wear black jeans and colorful, exciting belts if we so desire, and that day I wore capris and boots. When I got hired on, I was told I could no longer wear my nose ring (I can get away with the stud, but the ring is too extreme or something), my watch, my bracelets/wristband, any visible necklaces, and anything but studs in my ears. I also have to have a natural hair color, solid, dark shoes, constantly wear my work shirt and hat, and not paint my nails.

Yes, my fingernails cannot be painted pretty colors.

I realize that that isn't that bad as far as uniform requirements. It's actually not that much worse than my dresscode in high school, but the thing about the dresscode in school was that I was free to wear anything I wanted within the parameters. It's a genuine struggle for me to conform to the boring uniforms, and I have to try very hard not to look as individual as I typically do.

Let me give you guys some point of reference...

That's me in real life, more or less (my hair is actually black at the moment). I don't take issue with looking professional and making it clear where I work, especially since I'm often out of the store on deliveries and such. What I take issue with is the evil implications behind this stupid rule. Because the subtext of what my place of employment is doing is that I am not an individual. I am a food drone here to serve you.

The purpose of a uniform in food service is to make you, the customer, forget that I am a person, with my own life, my own problems and priorities, my own style, my own views, and they have nothing to do with you. It's more convenient and it's quicker is we forget that we are interacting with people and simply treat them as a function. I do the same thing. My customers are largely irrelevant to me, just as I am irrelevant to them. When I flash you a sunny smile and ask how your day is going, I couldn't actually care less, and if you don't tip me, my coworkers will hear all about what a fat trollop I thought you were. Your function, faceless customer, is to provide me with income, and my function is to provide you with food.

Actually, one time, I delivered to one of my coworker's houses right before she started working with me, and  the day I met her officially, she told me that I delivered to her before. I just stared blankly, having absolutely no memory of her until she reminded me that I got lost and her little sister walked around the corner to assist me.

I'd love to be able to give a fuzzy moral for this story, or to challenge you to remember that everyone is the hero of their own story, but that would likely just end with me telling you to tip, for the love of god, so I won't do that. Everyone is their own main character, but we are such egocentric creatures, we forget that not everyone is living our story.

Maybe someday I'll come back to this topic and write something clearer and better on it, because there's really so much more I wanted to say, but everything is coming out misshapen and cloudy, so I shall simply leave this monstrosity as it is and go about my day.