Wednesday, May 9, 2012

For the romantics

"From the diary of Prospero Taligent, cylinder #343

--A number of things about falling in love make it not worth the time and effort. But the worst of these is that we can never truly fall in love with the person, but only what we think that person is--more precisely, we fall in love with an image of a person that we create in our minds based on a few inconsequential traits: hair color; bloodline; timbre of voice; preference in music or literature. We are so quick to make a judgement on first sight, and it is so easy for us to decide that the object of our love is unquestionably perfect. And while people can only be human at best, these same fallible humans are more than capable of imagining each other to be infallible gods.

Any relationships we have with another human being is an ongoing process of error correction, altering this image that we see in our mind's eye whenever we lay love-blinded eyes on our beloved. It changes bit by bit until it matches the beloved herself, who is invariably less than perfect, often unworthy of love, and often incapable of giving love. This is why any extended interpersonal relationship other than the most superficial, be it a friendship, a romance, or a tie between father and daughter, must by necessity involve disappointment and pain..."

The Dream of Perpetual Motion by Dexter Palmer

Love is about realism, not an ideal; honesty, not adoration.

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