Mouthwash by Kate Nash

This is my face,
Covered in freckles
With the occasional spot
And some veins.

This is my body,
Covered in skin,
And not all of it
You can see.

And this is my mind.
It goes over and over
The same old lines.

And this is my brain.
It's torturous, analytical thoughts
Make me go insane.

And I use mouthwash.
Sometimes I floss.
I've got a family,
And I drink cups of tea

I've got nostalgic pavements;
I've got familiar faces;
I've got a mixed-up memory,
And I've got favorite places

And I'm singing "oh oh" on a Friday night. [3x]
And I hope everything's gonna be alright.
And I'm singing "oh oh" on a Friday night.
And I hope everything's gonna be alright.

This is my face.
I've got a thousand opinions,
And not the time to explain

And this is my body,
And no matter how you try and disable it,
Yes, I'll still be here.

And this is my mind,
And although you try to infringe,
You cannot confine.

And this is my brain,
And even if you try and hold me back,
There's nothing that you can gain,

'Cause I use mouthwash.
Sometimes I floss.
I've got a family,
And I drink cups of tea.

I've got nostalgic pavements.
I've got familiar faces.
I've got a mixed-up memory,
And I've got favorite places

I'm singing "oh oh" on a Friday night.
And I'm singing "oh oh" on a Friday night.[2x]
And I hope everything's gonna be alright.
And I'm singing "oh oh" on a Friday night.
And I hope everything's gonna be alright.
Oh oh oh oh oh oh

Happy February, people.

The Danger of Names

My siblings and I have started to outlaw certain names for any future friends or offspring, because we've noticed something repeatedly happening: specific kinds of people seem to have a lot of the same names. These people have been outlawed in my circle for obvious reasons, and due to the experience and input of several very intelligent and awesome people.

So, to add to the many edifying and useful things I've shared to educate the world at large, I present the names to avoid:

1. Chris
Chrises are almost universally douchebags. They start off seeming like cool, likable guys, but the longer you interact with them, the more they need stabbing. Chrises also manifest the douchbaggery in a variety of ways, whether that's arrogance, manipulative or controlling behavior, abuse, attention-whoring, unreliability, obnoxiousness, social-obliviousness or ineptitude, addictions, and/or any combination of the above.
I'm sure we've all known at least one of these. I, personally, have known at least five, and they all have . exhibited at least two or three of these characteristics. Occasionally there will be a Christopher, 'Topher, or other variation of the name that does not follow this, but there are exceptions to every rule.

2. Rachel
The real rule for Rachels is to only have ONE, and only one. Rachels tend to extremes, so they're either fun or miserable. And I say this as a Rachel. They tend to be absolutely crazy, and more than a little bitchy. In small doses, this is generally alright, but if you have more than one Rachel, bad things happen. Both my brothers have dated Rachels (though they insisted on spelling their names wrong, because they're individuals), and they were absolute psychopaths. If you already have a Rachel, don't be greedy. One is more than enough for most stable, intelligent people.

3. Michael
The problem with Michaels is not so much that they suck. It's more a question of quantity, because I love all of my Mikes and Michaels. They're wonderful, clever, little beasties, but I have to give all of them subtitles, because otherwise no one knows which one I mean. I have no doubt that there are also Michaels who suck, but I'm going to ignore that, because if we start taking into account that people are people regardless of their names, this post wouldn't exist, and I'm enjoying myself.

4. Chad
Chads can be a serious problem. Like Chrises, they can be serious douchebags, but this is more due to they're obsession with validation and power. Because under the exterior, Chads tend to be psychos in addition to douches. And if you cross one, you'll find out just how crazy they are. They are somewhat similar to Chrises, and, indeed, many varieties of douchebag, because they seem to be decent human beings at first glace; they can be fun to interact with in small doses, fairly clever, and generally amicable. Until you talk to them more regularly. At that point, you begin to see the crazy and/or irritating attributes start to come out. They also have a tendency to throw tantrums, which can be a serious problem if they are adults, as well as some mysterious ability to keep appearing after you thought they had disappeared.

5. Alicia/Alisha
Alicias can have numerous spellings and nicknames, which can make them hard to spot, and this camouflage is part of their danger. Alicias are bad news. Always. They usually seem relatively harmless, but prolonged exposure tends to result in poison of some kind. It's usually disguised under a somewhat unassuming, fairly sweet exterior and wrapped in an inferiority complex, and they often paint themselves as the wounded party. I've seen it several times, and Alishas rarely find themselves at fault, regardless of the kind of damage they cause.

6. Aaron
Beware of Aarons. Once acquired, they stick like a needy octopus, or the unwanted gum on the bottom of tables. These are also usually small-dose people, because a little Aaron goes a long way. Part of it is their lack of social awareness, and part of it is their frequent appearance. Approach with caution, because they leave chaos and destruction behind them.

7. Sarah
To be quite honest, Sarahs don't necessarily belong on this list, but I hate drama, and Sarahs tend to be hardcore drama queens. If they're not yelling, or crying, they're probably on the other end of the bipolar cycle, or unconscious.

Feel free to add any names you feel should be on the list with explanations or input. Also, expect this list to be updated at some point. It's not really finished, but it's been sitting in my drafts long enough that I'm just posting it.

Some rambling about change

I've been noticing something lately, and it's another one of those stupidly obvious things that somehow surprises me.

Life is in a state of transition right now. And they're not big transitions, like moving, or changing something big like that, but they're noticeable when I start to look. People and places that are slowly sliding out of my life, and new ones that are appearing in their places.

I went with my little sister to my old high school back in August or September, and it kind of sucked, but that was one of the things it took for me to realize that it had no place in my life anymore, except as a memory. The people I knew aren't there anymore, and I really have neither desire nor reason to go there or talk to anyone.

I wonder if that's what getting old is like...You notice how a lot of old people kind of shut down? Stop going places and stuff. Obviously part of that is just that they're start losing all the energy and capability of youth, but I think some of it is just how unfamiliar one's world can become.

Anyway, the same sort of thing happens with my stuff. I have an obscene amount of junk, and I've been slowly working on getting rid of it over the past year or so, and some of it just gets lost, or thrown out, or given away in the course of time. That's how things are supposed to be, I think. You have to get rid of some things to make room for others, or to de-clutter. Letting go is a necessary part of things.

Part of me wonders what I might be losing as the current carries me away from things--or carries them past me--but it also means something different is taking their place. And I have some strange obsession with moving. I don't like to sit still, and I don't like things to stay the same. I like the adventure of new, even if I don't necessarily always think it through or entirely enjoy it.

One of the coolest things someone has said to me was last summer or so. I was talking to Rosalinde, and he said, "No adventure is 100% perfect, or happy, or wonderful all the time. It's inherent to adventures that they're dirty and grimy and uncomfortable, and have some really suckish parts. They'd be boring without them."

Which is slightly off my original point, but it's what I mean underneath that.

You know those screen-savers that looked like tangled thread? The twisting fractals that changed color and stuff? If you slowed one of those down enough that you could watch every movement, that's kind of what I think life would look like. Or maybe stone is a better comparison. It changes slowly, but it alters the entire landscape, and one day, a few thousand years later, it's an entirely new place.

Anyway. Just some things in my head today.

Marriage and Babies

So I was on Facebook earlier, and I saw that yet another person I knew in middle and high school has a child. I vaguely remember a pregnancy announcement around a year ago, but somehow this still shocks me.

Off the top of my head, I can think of at least six couples within my age group that are married and/or have at least one child. Am I the only one this shocks and horrifies? Because we are waaaaaaaaaaaaay, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too freaking young for this stuff. Half these people couldn't even drink the champagne at their own weddings!

What's the big hurry here? I don't understand it. I am currently in a good relationship, but I'm YEARS away from all that crap. There will be no weddings or baby announcements from me or my man anytime soon. You know why? Because we're barely out of our teen years. I fully understand that it's more or less acceptable to get married in your early twenties, but that really doesn't mean we should. especially with how long we're allowing childhood to last these days. These years are a period where we get to experience and grow without all the same limitations of childhood or adulthood; the world is a huge, open place full of amazing things just waiting for us to find them. And if that's with a significant other by your side, awesome. Grow together. But why tie the cinder-block of obligation to your neck before you're ready for it?

If it's okay to act like a child until your late twenties or early thirties, how is it okay to be a spouse or parent before you can be an independent adult?

The thing is, marriage success rates are not encouraging, and people are growing up into partial adults before having children of their own. We glorify marriage as the end-goal of a relationship rather than as a beginning, and we romanticize the way kids screw up their lives by creating utter crap like that Teen Mom show. Life is big and crazy and scary, and if you're going to be embarking on that journey with anyone, and if you're going to be responsible for another life, you need to be stable enough to manage, and you need to be sure about it.

Brain spew temporarily over. Mostly because I want to sleep.

Sharing art

So I was just on DeviantArt, because even though I took all my artwork down, I still like seeing the things that other people post, and I was thinking about posting some new artwork, despite having decided that posting my stuff on DA was a total waste of time and effort, since no one there actually gave a damn about my work anyway, but this got me thinking about art making and sharing.

What is it in artists that compels us to share our work? I've seen many different artists of different kinds, and it seems to always be true. Something intrinsic to creation is the desire to share it. You don't put time and effort and skill into something you love doing, only to stash it away and pretend it didn't happen. Musical artists play for other people, visual artists post their work or show other people, performance artists perform for other people. The only ones I can think of that ever try and hide their gifts are writers, and even then, it slips out. Not everything is meant to be shared, but it seems like being a creator of any kind makes it impossible not to share some amount of your work with some people. Art is made to be appreciated.

Anyway, just something I was thinking about today. Or off and on a lot recently.

http://www.journeydancing.com/2012/12/15/creativity-cookie-present-you-to-the-other-yous-in-the-world/

This my aunt's blog, and I think it's a good follow up. It's very similar to some things Rosalinde and I talked about when one of my pieces from my last Drawing class got chosen to go in a couple of art shows.

So, I'm also gonna share this quote, which Kate Wolfe-Jenson has made into a pretty sweet PDF that you should look at.

"There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist though any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, nor how valuable, nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. No artist is pleased. [There is] no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others." -Martha Graham

I loved this. I think every day should start with a reminder of this.

I'm also considering sharing some of my artwork here on my blog, but I'm undecided at this point. It's been at the back of my mind for a while, but it also seems about as pointless as sharing it on Facebook or DeviantArt.

Anyway. The end. It wasn't even me hating, so you're welcome for the variety.

Your life would not make a good book.

Don't even try.

Yes, this is going to be another quick post where I talk about something that annoys me.

Every so often I read people's posts on various websites, and the thing I see over and over again is people talking about their daily lives. Do you know how interested I am to read about your daily life on the internet? Astonishingly not.

The thing about daily life that we all understand until the opportunity to ramble uninterrupted presents itself, is that daily life is really boring. It's mundane, and unless you're off having some kind of adventure, I don't care what you do every day, and neither does the majority of anyone else. If I know about your daily life, it should be because I either spend a significant amount of time with you, or we talk one on one about our lives. Not because you feel the need to share with your eight hundred best friends online what you do all day, especially when what you do all day is both boring and unproductive.

I read a quote somewhere, probably by George Bernard Shaw or some such, that said "most of us live lives of noisy desperation," and I think that characterizes a lot of online culture. We like to shout ourselves into significance to a largely indifferent universe, but the thing is, you don't get to be significant simply by existing or exclaiming your existence, and you shouldn't need other people to validate your existence.

Also, does it unsettle anyone else how easy we make stalking? There should be some reserve about telling the very public internet about where you go, what you do, and anything else that would make it very easy to keep track of you in a not okay way. The only people that should know a lot about your daily life are the people active in it.

THERE IS NOTHING ENDEARING ABOUT STALKING. IT'S TERRIFYING.

What is it with everyone romanticizing stalking? There is nothing lovable about being followed home, watched incessantly, "loved from afar," or whatever. Sleep-watching too. Those are all grounds for getting a restraining order, or pepper spray, or a body guard. Not for warm fuzzy, princess, idiot feelings. Don't feel special, feel stalked.

You notice how that term is also used for predators? That are hunting prey? For violent consumption and amusement? Yeah...

Anyway, there's this quote about your life never making a good book, and I agree with that emphatically. You notice how when I talk about my life it's in the context of what it made me think of, or how it relates to this thing that I'm talking about? Yeah. That's as relevant as my life ever is on the internet. Unless your life is extraordinary, there is no reason for you to treat it that way. No one wants to know the floor plan of your house, or your pedigree, or what you got for your birthday, or all your favorites, or whatever else unless they ask for it directly (and if they do, you may wanna think about whether or not you really want to answer O.o), so until then, why bother sharing all that nonsense? Keep it to the random thoughts that pop into your head, and share them fearlessly and tactlessly with whoever has the time to waste pretending to care.

And that's love for you, my hypothetically dedicated readers. Or just Taryn (actual love!). Either way.

Anyway, just some things I was thinking about this morning before work.

On Christmas Eve

Hello, largely imaginary audience. It's been a while since I bothered to post, and I can tell from the great out cry that you were both very distressed by my silence.

The reason for this hiatus has been this: I didn't feel like writing any blogs.

That being said, I thought I'd take a few minutes out of my very busy Christmas eve (my plans all fell through,  and I now have nothing to do until seven) to you all why I passionately hate this wretched holiday.

In keeping with my similar blogs. I shall do this in list form.

1. Family
Christmas is the time of your all your loved ones get together and pretend all your garbage doesn't count. It's a time of hypocrisy and forced smiles that warms our hearts and induces heavy drinking. Even if you actually do like your family, by the end of your time together you will probably want to stab at least one person. See Imogen Heap's song "Just For Now." (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kW59K3WQBjc)

2. Shopping
Shopping always sucks, but holiday shopping is especially horrific. You get to come face to face with the fact that you will never have the kind of money you'd need to buy everyone the thing you want to, and you also have to sit and contemplate something to give them, and usually you end up searching forever for the right thing, only to not get it for them because it's not there, or way out of your price range, or because someone else got it for them.

3. Presents
I think this is self-explanatory. We are all children, and if everyone agreed that it was the thought that counted, no one would even get presents, but deep down, we all just really want a bunch of cool crap, and it's not likely to happen. Yes, you may love the socks and sweaters and useless things and unreadable books, but they weren't that thing you wanted. And then there's the actual children, demanding, demanding, demanding. Toys, candy, and all other forms of expensive, artificial, annoying fun.

4. The music
There is not enough profanity in the world to describe my hatred for ninety percent of the Christmas music in existence. Yes, I have two or three I can stand to hear once or twice in December, but it's there everywhere you go. Repetitive crap, full of sticky, nauseatingly sweet cheer, without an ounce of meaning or talent behind them, meant to send your children into a holiday frenzy. The religious songs are slightly less aggravating, but after the millionth time you hear them, they start to wear. No amount of covers or new arrangements or variation can make this music less crappy and irritating. The only Christmas songs I've heard this year that had any amount of enjoyment were about the violent destruction of Santa and all that he stands for.

5. The date
Christmas, as so many people stoutly remind us, is a celebration of the birth of Christ. The thing is, Jesus of Nazareth was probably born during the summer. There are a bunch of different speculated dates, but the consensus is that it was nowhere near December 25th. Do you know what is near December 25th? The winter solstice. Do you know why Christ-mass is celebrated so close to a pagan holy day? Because the Catholic church was lazy and controlling. That's why, boys and girls. The pagans wanted to celebrate their holidays even after the "convert or die" speech, so to save time and effort, the Church decided to just combine the celebrations and let everyone pretend they were good Catholics.

6. The reason
Unless you are a Protestant or Catholic Christian, you have no reason to celebrate Christmas. How did this become such a hideously commercialized world-wide thing? It's a religious celebration. Do you also take a week off to celebrate with family for Rammedon and Passover? Not unless you're Muslim or Jewish. Somehow, almost everyone in the country feels the need to join in a holy day for a religion they don't even subscribe to. This is one of my issues with St. Valentine's day as well. Instead of keeping it's religious significance, we have to turn it into a plastic, mass-produced, all-inclusive day that means nothing.

7. Forced fun
If you don't love Christmas, there's something wrong with you. Even The Grinch loved it in the end. Well, you know what? The Grinch was a pussy. He had no resolve, and his reasons for hating Christmas were stupid. "The creepers down in Whoville love Christmas, and they don't like me?? Raaaaah! Christmas sucks!" I don't believe in forcing myself to be happy. I won't fake a smile for a photo if I don't feel like smiling, and I'm not going to spend the month of December pretending that everything is joyous and fuzzy.

And now, I'm tired of writing this crap, so you get an odd numbered, unplanned, unedited, unfinished list.