My siblings and I have started to outlaw certain names for any future friends or offspring, because we've noticed something repeatedly happening: specific kinds of people seem to have a lot of the same names. These people have been outlawed in my circle for obvious reasons, and due to the experience and input of several very intelligent and awesome people.
So, to add to the many edifying and useful things I've shared to educate the world at large, I present the names to avoid:
1. Chris
Chrises are almost universally douchebags. They start off seeming like cool, likable guys, but the longer you interact with them, the more they need stabbing. Chrises also manifest the douchbaggery in a variety of ways, whether that's arrogance, manipulative or controlling behavior, abuse, attention-whoring, unreliability, obnoxiousness, social-obliviousness or ineptitude, addictions, and/or any combination of the above.
I'm sure we've all known at least one of these. I, personally, have known at least five, and they all have . exhibited at least two or three of these characteristics. Occasionally there will be a Christopher, 'Topher, or other variation of the name that does not follow this, but there are exceptions to every rule.
2. Rachel
The real rule for Rachels is to only have ONE, and only one. Rachels tend to extremes, so they're either fun or miserable. And I say this as a Rachel. They tend to be absolutely crazy, and more than a little bitchy. In small doses, this is generally alright, but if you have more than one Rachel, bad things happen. Both my brothers have dated Rachels (though they insisted on spelling their names wrong, because they're individuals), and they were absolute psychopaths. If you already have a Rachel, don't be greedy. One is more than enough for most stable, intelligent people.
3. Michael
The problem with Michaels is not so much that they suck. It's more a question of quantity, because I love all of my Mikes and Michaels. They're wonderful, clever, little beasties, but I have to give all of them subtitles, because otherwise no one knows which one I mean. I have no doubt that there are also Michaels who suck, but I'm going to ignore that, because if we start taking into account that people are people regardless of their names, this post wouldn't exist, and I'm enjoying myself.
4. Chad
Chads can be a serious problem. Like Chrises, they can be serious douchebags, but this is more due to they're obsession with validation and power. Because under the exterior, Chads tend to be psychos in addition to douches. And if you cross one, you'll find out just how crazy they are. They are somewhat similar to Chrises, and, indeed, many varieties of douchebag, because they seem to be decent human beings at first glace; they can be fun to interact with in small doses, fairly clever, and generally amicable. Until you talk to them more regularly. At that point, you begin to see the crazy and/or irritating attributes start to come out. They also have a tendency to throw tantrums, which can be a serious problem if they are adults, as well as some mysterious ability to keep appearing after you thought they had disappeared.
5. Alicia/Alisha
Alicias can have numerous spellings and nicknames, which can make them hard to spot, and this camouflage is part of their danger. Alicias are bad news. Always. They usually seem relatively harmless, but prolonged exposure tends to result in poison of some kind. It's usually disguised under a somewhat unassuming, fairly sweet exterior and wrapped in an inferiority complex, and they often paint themselves as the wounded party. I've seen it several times, and Alishas rarely find themselves at fault, regardless of the kind of damage they cause.
6. Aaron
Beware of Aarons. Once acquired, they stick like a needy octopus, or the unwanted gum on the bottom of tables. These are also usually small-dose people, because a little Aaron goes a long way. Part of it is their lack of social awareness, and part of it is their frequent appearance. Approach with caution, because they leave chaos and destruction behind them.
7. Sarah
To be quite honest, Sarahs don't necessarily belong on this list, but I hate drama, and Sarahs tend to be hardcore drama queens. If they're not yelling, or crying, they're probably on the other end of the bipolar cycle, or unconscious.
Feel free to add any names you feel should be on the list with explanations or input. Also, expect this list to be updated at some point. It's not really finished, but it's been sitting in my drafts long enough that I'm just posting it.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Some rambling about change
I've been noticing something lately, and it's another one of those stupidly obvious things that somehow surprises me.
Life is in a state of transition right now. And they're not big transitions, like moving, or changing something big like that, but they're noticeable when I start to look. People and places that are slowly sliding out of my life, and new ones that are appearing in their places.
I went with my little sister to my old high school back in August or September, and it kind of sucked, but that was one of the things it took for me to realize that it had no place in my life anymore, except as a memory. The people I knew aren't there anymore, and I really have neither desire nor reason to go there or talk to anyone.
I wonder if that's what getting old is like...You notice how a lot of old people kind of shut down? Stop going places and stuff. Obviously part of that is just that they're start losing all the energy and capability of youth, but I think some of it is just how unfamiliar one's world can become.
Anyway, the same sort of thing happens with my stuff. I have an obscene amount of junk, and I've been slowly working on getting rid of it over the past year or so, and some of it just gets lost, or thrown out, or given away in the course of time. That's how things are supposed to be, I think. You have to get rid of some things to make room for others, or to de-clutter. Letting go is a necessary part of things.
Part of me wonders what I might be losing as the current carries me away from things--or carries them past me--but it also means something different is taking their place. And I have some strange obsession with moving. I don't like to sit still, and I don't like things to stay the same. I like the adventure of new, even if I don't necessarily always think it through or entirely enjoy it.
One of the coolest things someone has said to me was last summer or so. I was talking to Rosalinde, and he said, "No adventure is 100% perfect, or happy, or wonderful all the time. It's inherent to adventures that they're dirty and grimy and uncomfortable, and have some really suckish parts. They'd be boring without them."
Which is slightly off my original point, but it's what I mean underneath that.
You know those screen-savers that looked like tangled thread? The twisting fractals that changed color and stuff? If you slowed one of those down enough that you could watch every movement, that's kind of what I think life would look like. Or maybe stone is a better comparison. It changes slowly, but it alters the entire landscape, and one day, a few thousand years later, it's an entirely new place.
Anyway. Just some things in my head today.
Life is in a state of transition right now. And they're not big transitions, like moving, or changing something big like that, but they're noticeable when I start to look. People and places that are slowly sliding out of my life, and new ones that are appearing in their places.
I went with my little sister to my old high school back in August or September, and it kind of sucked, but that was one of the things it took for me to realize that it had no place in my life anymore, except as a memory. The people I knew aren't there anymore, and I really have neither desire nor reason to go there or talk to anyone.
I wonder if that's what getting old is like...You notice how a lot of old people kind of shut down? Stop going places and stuff. Obviously part of that is just that they're start losing all the energy and capability of youth, but I think some of it is just how unfamiliar one's world can become.
Anyway, the same sort of thing happens with my stuff. I have an obscene amount of junk, and I've been slowly working on getting rid of it over the past year or so, and some of it just gets lost, or thrown out, or given away in the course of time. That's how things are supposed to be, I think. You have to get rid of some things to make room for others, or to de-clutter. Letting go is a necessary part of things.
Part of me wonders what I might be losing as the current carries me away from things--or carries them past me--but it also means something different is taking their place. And I have some strange obsession with moving. I don't like to sit still, and I don't like things to stay the same. I like the adventure of new, even if I don't necessarily always think it through or entirely enjoy it.
One of the coolest things someone has said to me was last summer or so. I was talking to Rosalinde, and he said, "No adventure is 100% perfect, or happy, or wonderful all the time. It's inherent to adventures that they're dirty and grimy and uncomfortable, and have some really suckish parts. They'd be boring without them."
Which is slightly off my original point, but it's what I mean underneath that.
You know those screen-savers that looked like tangled thread? The twisting fractals that changed color and stuff? If you slowed one of those down enough that you could watch every movement, that's kind of what I think life would look like. Or maybe stone is a better comparison. It changes slowly, but it alters the entire landscape, and one day, a few thousand years later, it's an entirely new place.
Anyway. Just some things in my head today.
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Marriage and Babies
So I was on Facebook earlier, and I saw that yet another person I knew in middle and high school has a child. I vaguely remember a pregnancy announcement around a year ago, but somehow this still shocks me.
Off the top of my head, I can think of at least six couples within my age group that are married and/or have at least one child. Am I the only one this shocks and horrifies? Because we are waaaaaaaaaaaaay, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too freaking young for this stuff. Half these people couldn't even drink the champagne at their own weddings!
What's the big hurry here? I don't understand it. I am currently in a good relationship, but I'm YEARS away from all that crap. There will be no weddings or baby announcements from me or my man anytime soon. You know why? Because we're barely out of our teen years. I fully understand that it's more or less acceptable to get married in your early twenties, but that really doesn't mean we should. especially with how long we're allowing childhood to last these days. These years are a period where we get to experience and grow without all the same limitations of childhood or adulthood; the world is a huge, open place full of amazing things just waiting for us to find them. And if that's with a significant other by your side, awesome. Grow together. But why tie the cinder-block of obligation to your neck before you're ready for it?
If it's okay to act like a child until your late twenties or early thirties, how is it okay to be a spouse or parent before you can be an independent adult?
The thing is, marriage success rates are not encouraging, and people are growing up into partial adults before having children of their own. We glorify marriage as the end-goal of a relationship rather than as a beginning, and we romanticize the way kids screw up their lives by creating utter crap like that Teen Mom show. Life is big and crazy and scary, and if you're going to be embarking on that journey with anyone, and if you're going to be responsible for another life, you need to be stable enough to manage, and you need to be sure about it.
Brain spew temporarily over. Mostly because I want to sleep.
Off the top of my head, I can think of at least six couples within my age group that are married and/or have at least one child. Am I the only one this shocks and horrifies? Because we are waaaaaaaaaaaaay, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too freaking young for this stuff. Half these people couldn't even drink the champagne at their own weddings!
What's the big hurry here? I don't understand it. I am currently in a good relationship, but I'm YEARS away from all that crap. There will be no weddings or baby announcements from me or my man anytime soon. You know why? Because we're barely out of our teen years. I fully understand that it's more or less acceptable to get married in your early twenties, but that really doesn't mean we should. especially with how long we're allowing childhood to last these days. These years are a period where we get to experience and grow without all the same limitations of childhood or adulthood; the world is a huge, open place full of amazing things just waiting for us to find them. And if that's with a significant other by your side, awesome. Grow together. But why tie the cinder-block of obligation to your neck before you're ready for it?
If it's okay to act like a child until your late twenties or early thirties, how is it okay to be a spouse or parent before you can be an independent adult?
The thing is, marriage success rates are not encouraging, and people are growing up into partial adults before having children of their own. We glorify marriage as the end-goal of a relationship rather than as a beginning, and we romanticize the way kids screw up their lives by creating utter crap like that Teen Mom show. Life is big and crazy and scary, and if you're going to be embarking on that journey with anyone, and if you're going to be responsible for another life, you need to be stable enough to manage, and you need to be sure about it.
Brain spew temporarily over. Mostly because I want to sleep.
Friday, January 4, 2013
Sharing art
So I was just on DeviantArt, because even though I took all my artwork down, I still like seeing the things that other people post, and I was thinking about posting some new artwork, despite having decided that posting my stuff on DA was a total waste of time and effort, since no one there actually gave a damn about my work anyway, but this got me thinking about art making and sharing.
What is it in artists that compels us to share our work? I've seen many different artists of different kinds, and it seems to always be true. Something intrinsic to creation is the desire to share it. You don't put time and effort and skill into something you love doing, only to stash it away and pretend it didn't happen. Musical artists play for other people, visual artists post their work or show other people, performance artists perform for other people. The only ones I can think of that ever try and hide their gifts are writers, and even then, it slips out. Not everything is meant to be shared, but it seems like being a creator of any kind makes it impossible not to share some amount of your work with some people. Art is made to be appreciated.
Anyway, just something I was thinking about today. Or off and on a lot recently.
http://www.journeydancing.com/2012/12/15/creativity-cookie-present-you-to-the-other-yous-in-the-world/
This my aunt's blog, and I think it's a good follow up. It's very similar to some things Rosalinde and I talked about when one of my pieces from my last Drawing class got chosen to go in a couple of art shows.
So, I'm also gonna share this quote, which Kate Wolfe-Jenson has made into a pretty sweet PDF that you should look at.
"There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist though any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, nor how valuable, nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. No artist is pleased. [There is] no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others." -Martha Graham
What is it in artists that compels us to share our work? I've seen many different artists of different kinds, and it seems to always be true. Something intrinsic to creation is the desire to share it. You don't put time and effort and skill into something you love doing, only to stash it away and pretend it didn't happen. Musical artists play for other people, visual artists post their work or show other people, performance artists perform for other people. The only ones I can think of that ever try and hide their gifts are writers, and even then, it slips out. Not everything is meant to be shared, but it seems like being a creator of any kind makes it impossible not to share some amount of your work with some people. Art is made to be appreciated.
Anyway, just something I was thinking about today. Or off and on a lot recently.
http://www.journeydancing.com/2012/12/15/creativity-cookie-present-you-to-the-other-yous-in-the-world/
This my aunt's blog, and I think it's a good follow up. It's very similar to some things Rosalinde and I talked about when one of my pieces from my last Drawing class got chosen to go in a couple of art shows.
So, I'm also gonna share this quote, which Kate Wolfe-Jenson has made into a pretty sweet PDF that you should look at.
"There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist though any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, nor how valuable, nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. No artist is pleased. [There is] no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others." -Martha Graham
I loved this. I think every day should start with a reminder of this.
I'm also considering sharing some of my artwork here on my blog, but I'm undecided at this point. It's been at the back of my mind for a while, but it also seems about as pointless as sharing it on Facebook or DeviantArt.
Anyway. The end. It wasn't even me hating, so you're welcome for the variety.
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